Sexual initiation is an important stage in the psychosexual development of a young person. It most often occurs during adolescence (puberty), when the individual discovers his sexual identity and develops his preferences regarding intercourse. How to recognize the right moment for sexual initiation and how to prepare for it?

Sexual initiation and sexual maturation

Usually, sexual initiation occurs during the late stage of sexual maturation. During the same period, numerous changes occur simultaneously in the human body. Both the teenager’s body and his psyche are changing. The course of these changes will have a big impact on his sex life in the future.

According to scientists, there are several types of sexual behavior that, as a rule, precede the actual initiation.Petting among the most frequently mentioned . Some scientists also point to a test sex game with elements of exhibitionism in front of a partner, mutual genital examination and joint masturbation, or intercourse attempts – not always finalized.

All of these behaviors are considered by sexual health experts as normal preparatory steps for initiation – although they do not apply to all adolescents.Thus, experimentation is a natural form of development of sexual life– as a rule, proceeding from less to more mature intimate activities.

Beginning intercourse – when?

According to European statistics,the age of sexual initiation in boys and men is between 17 and 18. one year of life, and in girls and women – about a year later. Interestingly, in the case of Poland, these statistics do not change much over the years: according to the comparisons of Jankowiak and Gulczyńska (2014), a similar age of initiation was characteristic for young people both at the end of the 20th century and fifteen years later.

The researchers also pay attention to the research by Zbigniew Zdrojewicz (2005) on the sexuality of young men and women. They show that women with higher education undertake sexual initiation a little later: among the surveyed female students (i.e. women over 19), only 63 percent. declared initiated initiation. However, within a dozen or so years from the publication of these results, a certain dynamics of changes in the context of the age of female initiation was also noticed, which is probably related to moral changes.

Premature onset of intercourse – causes

The moment of reaching psychophysical maturity to undertake sexual initiation is highly individual and depends on many factors, such as family situation, the moment of starting puberty, illnesses or general mental maturity. However,it is considered premature to undertake sexual initiation before the age of 15. In some countries law, sexual contacts with a person who is not yet fifteen years old are considered a sexual offense.

Nevertheless, there is a large group of fifteen-year-olds who have already had their sexual initiation behind them. Research shows that there is a relationship between quick intercourse and the use of psychoactive substances – drinking alcohol or drugs, as well as truancy or a negative approach to education.

Important factors are also problems at home – conservative, strict and demanding parents, lack of tenderness and sense of security, and lack of stable emotional relations between the child and the older generation. The teenager, through early initiation of sexual initiation, compensates for the lack of feelings and interest of the caregivers. This is especially true of girls who start intercourse early.

First time – how to protect yourself?

In the case of sexual initiation, it is extremely important to properly protect against its consequences – both unwanted pregnancy andsexually transmitted diseases. In the case of the latter, the most effective countermeasures are mechanical methods, and thecondomis the most frequently chosen one .

Certainly, before starting sexual initiation, it is also advisable to visit a gynecologist who will help you choose the most appropriate method of contraception and clarify doubts about the risk associated with potential venereal diseases.

First time – doubts

For most people, starting sexual intercourse is a great experience, also causing many doubts and fears. Certainly, initiation should take place when both people are fully ready for it. It is also worth taking care of the comfort and convenience of both partners.

The decision to initiate should not be dictated by external pressure, but by emotional readiness to start intercourse.The pressure can be caused by the opinions and lifestyle of the peer community (which can lead toa “virgin complex”) or of the partner himself insisting on having intercourse.

For a woman, the decision about the first timeis closely related to the need for security, support, bonding and closeness. If she decides to have sex rashly and does not take care of herself by choosing a random or emotionally unavailable partner, she will most likely feel treated instrumentally, which maylower her self-esteemand make heravoid re-intercourseassociated with unpleasant emotions.

On the other hand,for a man a successful initiationis a confirmation of his sexual prowess, “masculinity” and the first failure may contribute toa psychological traumaandfear of re-rapprochement(especially in a situation when he is humiliated or rejected by his partner).Sex educators and educators often remind that the first time is rarely perfect and corresponds to the expectations – this is due to both the nervousness and inexperience of young people
. This is completely natural and happens very often. However, it is important to ensure that both parties feel completely safe and that they can withdraw if either partner feels uncomfortable. This is an important stage in human development, so it is worth making sure that it remains a good memory.

How to ensure a successful first time?

Positive experiences related to initiation create a good, open attitude to the sexual sphere.On the other hand, unpleasant or embarrassing memories can cause mental block andsexual coldness, which in turn impair intimate relationships.

Therefore, when deciding to have sex, it is worth taking care of theappropriate setting, the intimacy of this experience: first of all, a safe place (if the sexual act is interrupted by parents or a roommate entering the room, it may lead to a psychological trauma). It is also important tocare for the aesthetic side, romantic interior design andphysical comfort.

Sexual initiation is arite of passage, it is associated with entering adulthood, discovering your own sexuality and enjoying it together with your partner, therefore it should be a kind of ceremony that includes the preparation of the place where it will take place. This underlines the unique nature of the event and the fact that the partners are important to each other and the beginning of a sexual relationship is of great importance to them.

The accidental first timecan have a devastating effect on the psyche of partners, especially women. When partners treat each other instrumentally, seeking physical gratification that does not involve emotional bonding, theyimpoverish the erotic sensationsthat then become mechanical. A man for whom sexual initiation is an opportunity to “prove himself” may have atask-oriented approach to sexin the future .

Foreplay in sexual initiation

The physical and mental readiness of partners to have sexual intercourse is important for both people, but above all it is important for a woman, because sexual initiation is often associated withphysical painassociated with piercingthe hymen.

It is good if partners prepare to engage in sexual activity by getting to know each other’s bodies gradually.Foreplay, i.e. hugging and touching each other, increases awareness of your needs, allows you to get to know your partner’s body, find out what gives him pleasure.

Gradually getting closer to each other also allows you to reduce the fear of a new experience, get rid of the shame of being naked and, above all,talk about your desires. If the partners know each other well and trust each other, the initiation is not a stressful experience for them.

It is worth tame the emotions and startpreparing for intercoursea few weeks earlier, then the sexual initiation has a chance to become an unforgettable experience.